Valentine’s Day and Infertility

It’s All About the Two of You

Valentine’s Day carries a lot of emotional freight. It’s hard for any relationship to live up to the romantic ideals and sexy images we’re surrounded with in the media and social media. Did you really need to see the selfie your friends took in the champagne glass tub in the Poconos? Your emotions may be on a real roller coaster ride if you’re undergoing fertility treatment. Bloating, hot flashes and mood swings from the fertility drugs can be rough to deal with. Try for a Valentine’s Day that’s light and fun, and be kind to each other. That’s the most romantic act of all! Here are a few hints to make the holiday one that’s memorable in a good way.

1. Don’t Expect Perfection

If your partner—or even you!—is not a genius at creating a romantic atmosphere, that’s not going to change now. Cut yourselves some slack. Show your appreciation for each other in little ways, with a hug, a kind word, even a simple “Thank you for being here with me.” It doesn’t take diamonds and roses to show your affection.

2. Take a Day Off From Fertility Talk

Give yourself and your partner a break. You’ve probably been worrying about your fertility treatment, talking about it, and obsessing over what’s going to happen for weeks. Drop it for one night and try to have a little fun. Pretend you’re back in those carefree days when sex was for pleasure, not for procreation!

3. Make a Special Date Away From the Crowds

Remember when you first started going out with your partner? What did you like to do back then? Or is there something new you or your partner is interested in? Crowded, expensive restaurants may not be the way to go on Valentine’s Day. How about a movie night at home with your favorite takeout or pizza, or getting a couples’ massage?

4. Stop Comparing to Other Couples

Put down the smartphone, and step away from Facebook and Pinterest. If you think everyone else is having a sexier, more romantic evening than you are, 1) you’re wrong, and 2) you will make it true! People present idealized versions of themselves on social media. Don’t buy the hype.

5. Share the Love

Like any other holiday or celebration, there are people who are left out in the cold on Valentine’s Day. If you really want to feel love, share it with someone in need—volunteer to visit at a nursing home, pet cats at your local animal shelter, be kind to someone else in need. And be sure to share your love with your partner. You’re on this fertility journey together, and the journey is as important as the destination.

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